Dieting Methods

In trying to lose weight as painlessly as possible, I've run across quite a few methods. Here are some less popular diet plans:

1. The Coma Diet. This is where I'd be in a medically induced coma for six months. My calorie intake would be monitored closely, I wouldn't be able to cheat with cookies and I'd finally catch up on my sleep. My husband insists he'll develop a horrible oozing skin condition if left totally alone with the kids for six months. Whiner.

2. Junka-buse. Like Anta-buse for alcoholics, this substance is added to what ever you're eating so you will throw up if you eat anything afterwards that is sweet or high in calories. I'd be willing to try this but I'd hate to waste all those cookies by tossing them.

3. The Stomach Bug (a favorite of my friend Mary Ellen) This diet method is a little like the Coma method but takes less time and is more interactive. I can't seem to find it at Wal Mart, though.

4. The Al Sharpton method. To lose weigh, all he eats in a day is two salads and cookies. Wow, never thought I'd see the day where Al Sharpton and I could agree on something.